Spotted in a toilet of a London office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.
In a London Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
Outside a London second-hand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a London conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
Notice in a field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR, THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
People in other countries sometimes go out of their way to communicate with their English-speaking tourists. Here is a list of signs seen around the world.
At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.
Doctors office, Rome :
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Hotel, Acapulco :
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.
In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE SHOULD WAIT AND SEE THE MANAGER.
In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.
In a Calcutta Coffee House:
PEOPLE DISCARDING CIGARETTE STUBS IN CUPS WILL BE SERVED COFFEE IN ASH TRAYS
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
Origination of Names of Great Companies!
Mercedes
This was actually financier's daughter's name.
Adobe
This came from the name of the river Adobe Creek that ran behind the house of founder John Warnock.
Apple Computers
It was the favourite fruit of founder Steve Jobbs.He was three months late for filing a name for the business, and he threatened to call his company Apple Computers if the other colleagues didn't suggest a better name by 5 0'clock.
CISCO
It is not an acronym as popuraily believed.Its short for San Francisco.
Compaq
This name was formed by using COMp, for computer and PAQ to denote a small integral object.
Corel
The name was derived from the founder's name Dr. Michael Cowpland. It stands for COwpland Research Laboratory.
Google
The name started as a joke boasting about the amount of information the search-engine would be able to search. It was originally named 'Googol', a word for the number represented by 1 followed by 100 zeros. After founders - Stanford graduate students Sergey Brin and Larry Page presented their project to an angel investor; they received a cheque made out to 'Google'.
Hotmail
Founder Jack Smith got the idea of accessing e-mail via the web from a computer anywhere in the world. When Sabeer Bhatia came up with the business plan for the mail service, he tried all kinds of names ending in 'mail' and finally settled for hotmail as it included the letters "html" - the programming language used to write web pages. It was initially referred to as HoTMaiL with selective uppercasing.
Hewlett Packard
Bill Hewlett and Dave Packard tossed a coin to decide whether the company they founded would be called Hewlett-Packard or Packard-Hewlett.
Intel
Bob Noyce and Gordon Moore wanted to name their new company 'Moore Noyce' but that was already trademarked by a hotel chain so they had to settle for an acronym of INTegrated ELectronics.
Lotus (Notes)
Mitch Kapor got the name for his company from 'The Lotus Position' or 'Padmasana'. Kapor used to be a teacher of ranscendental Meditation of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi.
Microsoft
Coined by Bill Gates to represent the company that was devoted to MICROcomputer SOFTware. Originally christened Micro-Soft, the '-' was removed later on.
Motorola
Founder Paul Galvin came up with this name when his company started manufacturing radios for cars. The popular radio company at the time was called Victrola.
ORACLE
Larry Ellison and Bob Oats were working on a consulting project for the CIA (Central Intelligence Agency). The code name for the project was called Oracle (the CIA saw this as the system to give answers to all questions or something such). The project was designed to help use the newly written SQL code by IBM. The project eventually was terminated but Larry and Bob decided to finish what they started and bring it to the world. They kept the name Oracle and created the RDBMS engine. Later they kept the same name for the company.
Sony
It originated from the Latin word 'sonus' meaning sound, and 'sonny' a slang used by Americans to refer to a bright youngster.
SUN
Founded by 4 Stanford University buddies, SUN is the acronym for Stanford University Network. Andreas Bechtolsheim built a microcomputer; Vinod Khosla recruited him and Scott McNealy to manufacture computers based on it, and Bill Joy to develop a UNIX-based OS for the computer.
Apache
It got its name because its founders got started by applying patches to code written for NCSA's httpd daemon. The result was 'A PAtCHy'server -- thus, the name Apache Jakarta (project from Apache): A project constituted by SUN and Apache to create a web server handling servlets and JSPs. Jakarta was name of the conference room at SUN where most of the meetings between SUN and Apache took place.
Tomcat
The servlet part of the Jakarta project. Tomcat was the code name for the JSDK 2.1 project inside SUN.
C
Dennis Ritchie improved on the B programming language and called it 'New B'.He later called it C. Earlier B was created by Ken Thompson as a revision of the Bon programming language (named after his wife Bonnie).
C++
Bjarne Stroustrup called his new language 'C with Classes' and then 'new C'. Because of which the original C began to be called 'old C' which was considered insulting to the C community. At this time Rick Mascitti suggested the name C++ as a successor to C.
GNU
A species of African antelope. Founder of the GNU project Richard Stallman liked the name because of the humor associated with its pronunciation and was also influenced by the children's song 'The Gnu Song' which is a song sung by a gnu. Also it fitted into the recursive acronym culture with 'GNU's Not Unix'.
Java
Originally called Oak by creator James Gosling, from the tree that stood outside his window, the programming team had to look for a substitute as there was no other language with the same name. Java was selected from a list of suggestions. It came from the name of the coffee that the programmers drank.
LG
Combination of two popular Korean brands Lucky and Goldstar.
Linux
Linus Torvalds originally used the Minix OS on his system which he replaced by his OS. Hence the working name was Linux (Linus' Minix). He thought the name to be too egotistical and planned to name it Freax(free + freak + x).His friend Ari Lemmke encouraged Linus to upload it to a network so it could be easily downloaded. Ari gave Linus a directory called linux on his FTP server, as he did not like the name Freax.(Linus' parents named himafter two-time Nobel Prize winner Linus Pauling) .
Mozilla
When Marc Andreesen, founder of Netscape, created a browser to replace Mosaic (also developed by him), it was named Mozilla (Mosaic-Killer, Godzilla).The marketing guys didn't like the name however and it was re-christened Netscape Navigator.
Red Hat
Company founder Marc Ewing was given the Cornell lacrosse team cap (with red and white stripes) while at college by his grandfather. He lost it and had to search for it desperately. The manual of the beta version of Red Hat Linux had an appeal to readers to return his Red Hat if found by anyone!
SAP
"Systems, Applications, Products in Data Processing", formed by 4 ex-IBM employees who used to work in the 'Systems/Applications/Projects' group of IBM.
SCO (UNIX)
From Santa Cruz Operation. The company's office was in Santa Cruz.
UNIX
When Bell Labs pulled out of MULTICS (MULTiplexed Information and Computing System), which was originally a joint Bell/GE/MIT project, Ken Thompson and Dennis Ritchie of Bell Labs wrote a simpler version of the OS.They needed the OS to run the game Space War which was compiled under MULTICS.It was called UNICS - UNIplexed operating and Computing System
by Brian Kernighan. It was later shortened to UNIX.
Xerox
The inventor, Chestor Carlson, named his product trying to say `dry' (as it was dry copying, markedly different from the then prevailing wet copying).The Greek root `xer' means dry.
Yahoo!
The word was invented by Jonathan Swift and used in his book 'Gulliver's Travels'. It represents a person who is repulsive in appearance and action and is barely human. Yahoo! founders Jerry Yang and David Filo selected the name because they considered themselves yahoos.
3M
Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing Company started off by mining the material corundum used to make sandpaper.
This was actually financier's daughter's name.
Adobe
This came from the name of the river Adobe Creek that ran behind the house of founder John Warnock.
Apple Computers
It was the favourite fruit of founder Steve Jobbs.He was three months late for filing a name for the business, and he threatened to call his company Apple Computers if the other colleagues didn't suggest a better name by 5 0'clock.
CISCO
It is not an acronym as popuraily believed.Its short for San Francisco.
Compaq
This name was formed by using COMp, for computer and PAQ to denote a small integral object.
Corel
The name was derived from the founder's name Dr. Michael Cowpland. It stands for COwpland Research Laboratory.
The name started as a joke boasting about the amount of information the search-engine would be able to search. It was originally named 'Googol', a word for the number represented by 1 followed by 100 zeros. After founders - Stanford graduate students Sergey Brin and Larry Page presented their project to an angel investor; they received a cheque made out to 'Google'.
Hotmail
Founder Jack Smith got the idea of accessing e-mail via the web from a computer anywhere in the world. When Sabeer Bhatia came up with the business plan for the mail service, he tried all kinds of names ending in 'mail' and finally settled for hotmail as it included the letters "html" - the programming language used to write web pages. It was initially referred to as HoTMaiL with selective uppercasing.
Hewlett Packard
Bill Hewlett and Dave Packard tossed a coin to decide whether the company they founded would be called Hewlett-Packard or Packard-Hewlett.
Intel
Bob Noyce and Gordon Moore wanted to name their new company 'Moore Noyce' but that was already trademarked by a hotel chain so they had to settle for an acronym of INTegrated ELectronics.
Lotus (Notes)
Mitch Kapor got the name for his company from 'The Lotus Position' or 'Padmasana'. Kapor used to be a teacher of ranscendental Meditation of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi.
Microsoft
Coined by Bill Gates to represent the company that was devoted to MICROcomputer SOFTware. Originally christened Micro-Soft, the '-' was removed later on.
Motorola
Founder Paul Galvin came up with this name when his company started manufacturing radios for cars. The popular radio company at the time was called Victrola.
ORACLE
Larry Ellison and Bob Oats were working on a consulting project for the CIA (Central Intelligence Agency). The code name for the project was called Oracle (the CIA saw this as the system to give answers to all questions or something such). The project was designed to help use the newly written SQL code by IBM. The project eventually was terminated but Larry and Bob decided to finish what they started and bring it to the world. They kept the name Oracle and created the RDBMS engine. Later they kept the same name for the company.
Sony
It originated from the Latin word 'sonus' meaning sound, and 'sonny' a slang used by Americans to refer to a bright youngster.
SUN
Founded by 4 Stanford University buddies, SUN is the acronym for Stanford University Network. Andreas Bechtolsheim built a microcomputer; Vinod Khosla recruited him and Scott McNealy to manufacture computers based on it, and Bill Joy to develop a UNIX-based OS for the computer.
Apache
It got its name because its founders got started by applying patches to code written for NCSA's httpd daemon. The result was 'A PAtCHy'server -- thus, the name Apache Jakarta (project from Apache): A project constituted by SUN and Apache to create a web server handling servlets and JSPs. Jakarta was name of the conference room at SUN where most of the meetings between SUN and Apache took place.
Tomcat
The servlet part of the Jakarta project. Tomcat was the code name for the JSDK 2.1 project inside SUN.
C
Dennis Ritchie improved on the B programming language and called it 'New B'.He later called it C. Earlier B was created by Ken Thompson as a revision of the Bon programming language (named after his wife Bonnie).
C++
Bjarne Stroustrup called his new language 'C with Classes' and then 'new C'. Because of which the original C began to be called 'old C' which was considered insulting to the C community. At this time Rick Mascitti suggested the name C++ as a successor to C.
GNU
A species of African antelope. Founder of the GNU project Richard Stallman liked the name because of the humor associated with its pronunciation and was also influenced by the children's song 'The Gnu Song' which is a song sung by a gnu. Also it fitted into the recursive acronym culture with 'GNU's Not Unix'.
Java
Originally called Oak by creator James Gosling, from the tree that stood outside his window, the programming team had to look for a substitute as there was no other language with the same name. Java was selected from a list of suggestions. It came from the name of the coffee that the programmers drank.
LG
Combination of two popular Korean brands Lucky and Goldstar.
Linux
Linus Torvalds originally used the Minix OS on his system which he replaced by his OS. Hence the working name was Linux (Linus' Minix). He thought the name to be too egotistical and planned to name it Freax(free + freak + x).His friend Ari Lemmke encouraged Linus to upload it to a network so it could be easily downloaded. Ari gave Linus a directory called linux on his FTP server, as he did not like the name Freax.(Linus' parents named himafter two-time Nobel Prize winner Linus Pauling) .
Mozilla
When Marc Andreesen, founder of Netscape, created a browser to replace Mosaic (also developed by him), it was named Mozilla (Mosaic-Killer, Godzilla).The marketing guys didn't like the name however and it was re-christened Netscape Navigator.
Red Hat
Company founder Marc Ewing was given the Cornell lacrosse team cap (with red and white stripes) while at college by his grandfather. He lost it and had to search for it desperately. The manual of the beta version of Red Hat Linux had an appeal to readers to return his Red Hat if found by anyone!
SAP
"Systems, Applications, Products in Data Processing", formed by 4 ex-IBM employees who used to work in the 'Systems/Applications/Projects' group of IBM.
SCO (UNIX)
From Santa Cruz Operation. The company's office was in Santa Cruz.
UNIX
When Bell Labs pulled out of MULTICS (MULTiplexed Information and Computing System), which was originally a joint Bell/GE/MIT project, Ken Thompson and Dennis Ritchie of Bell Labs wrote a simpler version of the OS.They needed the OS to run the game Space War which was compiled under MULTICS.It was called UNICS - UNIplexed operating and Computing System
by Brian Kernighan. It was later shortened to UNIX.
Xerox
The inventor, Chestor Carlson, named his product trying to say `dry' (as it was dry copying, markedly different from the then prevailing wet copying).The Greek root `xer' means dry.
Yahoo!
The word was invented by Jonathan Swift and used in his book 'Gulliver's Travels'. It represents a person who is repulsive in appearance and action and is barely human. Yahoo! founders Jerry Yang and David Filo selected the name because they considered themselves yahoos.
3M
Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing Company started off by mining the material corundum used to make sandpaper.
Think Fast!!!!
jonny works in a supermarket. A man came in and asked jonny for half a kilogram of butter. The boy told him they only sold 1 kg packets of butter, but the man was persistent. The boy said he'd go ask his manager what to do.
jonny walked into the back room and said, "There's a bloody fellow out there who wants to buy only half a kilo of butter."
As he finished saying this, he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman wants to buy the other half."
The manager finished the deal and later said to jonny, "You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet, and I like it a lot. Which place are you from?"
jonny replied, "I'm from Mexico, Sir."
"Oh, really? Why did you leave Mexico?" asked the manager.
jonny replied, "They're all just prostitutes and soccer players up there."
"My wife is from Mexico," the manager said.
jonny replied, "Which team did she play for?"
jonny walked into the back room and said, "There's a bloody fellow out there who wants to buy only half a kilo of butter."
As he finished saying this, he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman wants to buy the other half."
The manager finished the deal and later said to jonny, "You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet, and I like it a lot. Which place are you from?"
jonny replied, "I'm from Mexico, Sir."
"Oh, really? Why did you leave Mexico?" asked the manager.
jonny replied, "They're all just prostitutes and soccer players up there."
"My wife is from Mexico," the manager said.
jonny replied, "Which team did she play for?"
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Once Upon A Time in INDIA...
Doordarshan Logo
Doordarshan Screensaver
Malgudi Days
Deskh Bhai Deskh
Ramayan
Mile Sur Mera Tumhara
Turning Point
Bharat Ek Khoj
Alif Laila
Byomkesh Bakshi
Tehkikaat
He Man
Salma Sultana : DD News Reader
Vicco Turmeric, Nahin CosmeticVicco Turmeric Aurvedic Cream
Twaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiing!!
Washing Powder Nirma, Washing Powder Nirma,
Doodh Si Safedi, Nirma Se Aaye,
Rangeen Kapde Bhi Khil Khil Jaye
Complan Boy (Shahid Kapoor) and Girl (Ayesha Takia)
SurabhiSunday, June 8, 2008
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Why Bill Gates decides to Sell OFF Microsoft?
Letter from Banta Singh of Punjab to Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.
2. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this 'find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.
4. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?
5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer': when you will povide the remaining items?
6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that .
7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.
8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?
9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.
Regards, Banta
Last one to Mr Bill Gates : Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS?
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.
2. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this 'find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.
4. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?
5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer': when you will povide the remaining items?
6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that .
7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.
8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?
9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.
Regards, Banta
Last one to Mr Bill Gates : Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS?
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
A Valuable Advice!!
A new vacuum cleaner salesperson knocked on the door on the first houseof the street. A tall lady answered the door.
Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the livingroom and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppingsonto the carpet.
"Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerfulvacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this!" exclaimed the eager salesman.
"Do you need chilli sauce or ketchup with that" asked the lady.
The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"
"There's no electricity in the house...," said the lady
MORAL: Gather all resources before working on any project and committingto the client...!!!
Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the livingroom and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppingsonto the carpet.
"Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerfulvacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this!" exclaimed the eager salesman.
"Do you need chilli sauce or ketchup with that" asked the lady.
The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"
"There's no electricity in the house...," said the lady
MORAL: Gather all resources before working on any project and committingto the client...!!!
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Monday, April 21, 2008
A moral worth remembering in life!!
A teacher teaching Maths to seven-year-old Arnav asked him, "If I give you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?"Within a few seconds Arnav replied confidently, "Four!"
The dismayed teacher was expecting an effortless correct answer (three). She was disappointed. "Maybe the child did not listen properly," she thought. She repeated, "Arnav, listen carefully. If I give you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?"
Arnav had seen the disappointment on his teacher's face. He calculated again on his fingers. But within him he was also searching for the answer that will make the teacher happy. His search for the answer was not for the correct one, but the one that will make his teacher happy. This time hesitatingly he replied, "Four..."
The disappointment stayed on the teacher's face. She remembered that Arnav liked strawberries. She thought maybe he doesn't like apples and that is making him loose focus. This time with an exaggerated excitement and twinkling in her eyes she asked, "If I give you one strawberry and one strawberry and one strawberry, then how many you will have?"
Seeing the teacher happy, young Arnav calculated on his fingers again. There was no pressure on him, but a little on the teacher. She wanted her new approach to succeed. With a hesitating smile young Arnav enquired, "Three?"
The teacher now had a victorious smile. Her approach had succeeded. She wanted to congratulate herself. But one last thing remained. Once again she asked him, "Now if I give you one apple and one apple and one more apple how many will you have?"
Promptly Arnav answered, "Four!"
The teacher was aghast. "How Arnav, how?" she demanded in a little stern and irritated voice.
In a voice that was low and hesitating young Arnav replied, "Because I already have one apple in my bag."
"When someone gives you an answer that is different from what you expect don't think they are wrong. There maybe an angle that you have not understood at all. You will have to listen and understand, but never listen with a predetermined notion."
The dismayed teacher was expecting an effortless correct answer (three). She was disappointed. "Maybe the child did not listen properly," she thought. She repeated, "Arnav, listen carefully. If I give you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?"
Arnav had seen the disappointment on his teacher's face. He calculated again on his fingers. But within him he was also searching for the answer that will make the teacher happy. His search for the answer was not for the correct one, but the one that will make his teacher happy. This time hesitatingly he replied, "Four..."
The disappointment stayed on the teacher's face. She remembered that Arnav liked strawberries. She thought maybe he doesn't like apples and that is making him loose focus. This time with an exaggerated excitement and twinkling in her eyes she asked, "If I give you one strawberry and one strawberry and one strawberry, then how many you will have?"
Seeing the teacher happy, young Arnav calculated on his fingers again. There was no pressure on him, but a little on the teacher. She wanted her new approach to succeed. With a hesitating smile young Arnav enquired, "Three?"
The teacher now had a victorious smile. Her approach had succeeded. She wanted to congratulate herself. But one last thing remained. Once again she asked him, "Now if I give you one apple and one apple and one more apple how many will you have?"
Promptly Arnav answered, "Four!"
The teacher was aghast. "How Arnav, how?" she demanded in a little stern and irritated voice.
In a voice that was low and hesitating young Arnav replied, "Because I already have one apple in my bag."
"When someone gives you an answer that is different from what you expect don't think they are wrong. There maybe an angle that you have not understood at all. You will have to listen and understand, but never listen with a predetermined notion."
Friday, April 11, 2008
Friendship
Friendship between Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.
Friendship between Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a buddy's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.
A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.
Friendship between Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a buddy's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Banned From Wal-Mart
After Mr. And Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women, and loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot Tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillancecameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it Right away."
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them In if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.10. November
10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the " Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN !"
And last, but not least
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot Tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillancecameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it Right away."
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them In if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.10. November
10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the " Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN !"
And last, but not least
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Worth Reading !!! Funny or.. is this Reality ??
*Ant & Grasshopper* OLD VERSION *
The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away.
Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold. *
*Ant & Grasshopper* Modern Version*
The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The Grasshopper thinks the Ant ' s a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
*NDTV, BBC, CNN * show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
The World stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor Grasshopper allowed suffering so? *
Arundhati Roy ** *stages a demonstration in front of the Ant ' s house . *
Medha Patkar** *goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter.*
Amnesty International and Koffi Annan *criticizes the Indian Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper.
The *Internet* is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the Grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance) . *
Opposition MPs *stage a walkout. Left parties call for "Bharat Bandh" in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.
CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and Grasshoppers. *
Lalu Prasad *allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the ' Grasshopper Rath '.
Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the ' *Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act ' *[POTAGA], with effect from the beginning of the winter.*
Arjun Singh *makes '*Special Reservation *' for Grasshoppers in Educational Institutions & in Government Services.
The Ant; fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes; its home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV.
Arundhati Roy calls it ' *A Triumph of Justice* ' .
Lalu calls it '*Socialistic Justice *' .
CPM calls it the ' *Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden *'
Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the *UN General Assembly*.
*Many years later*
The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar company in * Silicon Valley *.
100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere in India ...because of loosing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the Grasshoppers, * India is still a developing country!
The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away.
Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold. *
*Ant & Grasshopper* Modern Version*
The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The Grasshopper thinks the Ant ' s a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
*NDTV, BBC, CNN * show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
The World stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor Grasshopper allowed suffering so? *
Arundhati Roy ** *stages a demonstration in front of the Ant ' s house . *
Medha Patkar** *goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter.*
Amnesty International and Koffi Annan *criticizes the Indian Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper.
The *Internet* is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the Grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance) . *
Opposition MPs *stage a walkout. Left parties call for "Bharat Bandh" in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.
CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and Grasshoppers. *
Lalu Prasad *allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the ' Grasshopper Rath '.
Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the ' *Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act ' *[POTAGA], with effect from the beginning of the winter.*
Arjun Singh *makes '*Special Reservation *' for Grasshoppers in Educational Institutions & in Government Services.
The Ant; fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes; its home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV.
Arundhati Roy calls it ' *A Triumph of Justice* ' .
Lalu calls it '*Socialistic Justice *' .
CPM calls it the ' *Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden *'
Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the *UN General Assembly*.
*Many years later*
The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar company in * Silicon Valley *.
100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere in India ...because of loosing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the Grasshoppers, * India is still a developing country!
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Top most firing & secure IT companies in India
Interesting Info - Source Unknown :)
Top most Firing IT companies in India
1) IBM --- Right now this is the most firing company for IT professionals. In the last 6 months, this company has fired nearly 20% of their employees because of BG check and performance issues. This is the most insecure company from an IT professional' s point of view. They don't have any strategic plans at HR policies regarding employee security. No appraisals (maximum 10%).
2) TCS --- Previously known as a government IT Company. Now a days TCS also becoming firing IT company. Recently they fired on 500 people. (The people below 2 years of experience) and TCS lost so many projects recently (especially British Telecom Projects).
3) Accenture --- This is second top most firing company. The firing rate is around 5%. This depends upon outsourced projects; they have a unique system where Accenture development centers on the world bid for a project coming into the company. Currently Philippines centre is taking the cake and the Indian centers are in a firing mode.
4) WIPRO --- Firing people with very frequent back ground checks and firing them with out even experience letters and relieving letters (will mention as terminated from services)but will promise the employees that they will retain them. After the project is over they will fire away. Will threaten of criminal cases against such employees if they oppose the move and have also filed against some.
6) Intel --- Recently joined the league. Running in heavy losses, hence firing 3000 employees in the Bangalore center in a phased out manner.
7) CTS --- Has a steady firing policy (checking the Educational background and previous employment and also employee performance in work). In a Recent HCL walk-in, around 50% attendees were from this company. Sadly the I-pods have not helped them.
8) CSC --- Excellent package but fires folks in Background check and those on bench regularly. Recently fired 400+ employees from its subsidiary Covansys.
9) Satyam --- Currently stopped firing. The Attrition rate is very high. No firing from 2005 until now when 1000 employees were fired in Hyderabad .
10) Patni ---- They fired so many employees that currently they are facing understaffing and deficiency with number of employees. Very high attrition rate.
11) Keane India ---- This USA based company is always involved in firing employees. Although they proudly say that they don’t have hire and fire policy. Recently they fired java and as400 professionals after which most of the employees have started to pack their bags. Employees change this company within 1 year. So take care before accepting offers from these companies.
Secure IT companies in India
1) Microsoft --- Has projects till 2050.
2) EDS --- Most secure company in India . Not lay off any of its employees even during 2001. Have lots of projects in Defense and financial areas
3) HP --- Dream Company. In-house and outsourced projects
4) Infosys --- Dream Job. On a way to achieve the status of a secured, stable Govt. company.
5) AOL, Google and Yahoo - Best companies to work with, great job satisfaction as well as great salary and work environment. Rarely fires an employee. As they are internet based companies' they offer lots of opportunities to grow.
6) HCL -- A good company to be in. Called as a "retirement company."
7) HSBC --- This is the most secure company. It has never fired any employee, even when they know that the employee is showing fake experience.
8) Aricent--- a communication based Software Company, has never fired any employee and gives great perks & incentives, lot of projects in kitty. Minimal level of attrition.
9) KPIT Cumminns Infosystems Limited ---- This is the most secure company not known to many. It has presently acquired CG Smith, Bangalore and has lots of projects in pipe line. Acquisitions plans will continue.
Top most Firing IT companies in India
1) IBM --- Right now this is the most firing company for IT professionals. In the last 6 months, this company has fired nearly 20% of their employees because of BG check and performance issues. This is the most insecure company from an IT professional' s point of view. They don't have any strategic plans at HR policies regarding employee security. No appraisals (maximum 10%).
2) TCS --- Previously known as a government IT Company. Now a days TCS also becoming firing IT company. Recently they fired on 500 people. (The people below 2 years of experience) and TCS lost so many projects recently (especially British Telecom Projects).
3) Accenture --- This is second top most firing company. The firing rate is around 5%. This depends upon outsourced projects; they have a unique system where Accenture development centers on the world bid for a project coming into the company. Currently Philippines centre is taking the cake and the Indian centers are in a firing mode.
4) WIPRO --- Firing people with very frequent back ground checks and firing them with out even experience letters and relieving letters (will mention as terminated from services)but will promise the employees that they will retain them. After the project is over they will fire away. Will threaten of criminal cases against such employees if they oppose the move and have also filed against some.
6) Intel --- Recently joined the league. Running in heavy losses, hence firing 3000 employees in the Bangalore center in a phased out manner.
7) CTS --- Has a steady firing policy (checking the Educational background and previous employment and also employee performance in work). In a Recent HCL walk-in, around 50% attendees were from this company. Sadly the I-pods have not helped them.
8) CSC --- Excellent package but fires folks in Background check and those on bench regularly. Recently fired 400+ employees from its subsidiary Covansys.
9) Satyam --- Currently stopped firing. The Attrition rate is very high. No firing from 2005 until now when 1000 employees were fired in Hyderabad .
10) Patni ---- They fired so many employees that currently they are facing understaffing and deficiency with number of employees. Very high attrition rate.
11) Keane India ---- This USA based company is always involved in firing employees. Although they proudly say that they don’t have hire and fire policy. Recently they fired java and as400 professionals after which most of the employees have started to pack their bags. Employees change this company within 1 year. So take care before accepting offers from these companies.
Secure IT companies in India
1) Microsoft --- Has projects till 2050.
2) EDS --- Most secure company in India . Not lay off any of its employees even during 2001. Have lots of projects in Defense and financial areas
3) HP --- Dream Company. In-house and outsourced projects
4) Infosys --- Dream Job. On a way to achieve the status of a secured, stable Govt. company.
5) AOL, Google and Yahoo - Best companies to work with, great job satisfaction as well as great salary and work environment. Rarely fires an employee. As they are internet based companies' they offer lots of opportunities to grow.
6) HCL -- A good company to be in. Called as a "retirement company."
7) HSBC --- This is the most secure company. It has never fired any employee, even when they know that the employee is showing fake experience.
8) Aricent--- a communication based Software Company, has never fired any employee and gives great perks & incentives, lot of projects in kitty. Minimal level of attrition.
9) KPIT Cumminns Infosystems Limited ---- This is the most secure company not known to many. It has presently acquired CG Smith, Bangalore and has lots of projects in pipe line. Acquisitions plans will continue.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Rajnikanth - Some Facts
Awessome !! Enjoy!
Rajanikanth makes onions cry
Rajanikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.
Rajanikanth can build a snowman..... out of rain.
Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Rajanikanth can drown a fish.
When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on,......... ... he turns the dark off.
When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Rajanikanth can throw Brett Favre even further.
The last digit of pi is Rajanikanth. He is the end of all things.
Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
Bullets dodge Rajanikanth.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Rajanikanth' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.
If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Rajanikanth?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.
Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Rajanikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.
It takes Rajanikanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Rajanikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajanikanth.
Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajanikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.
Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajanikanth, the result is death.
When you say "no one's perfect", Rajanikanth takes this as a personal insult.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
A Dogs Life
A butcher watching over his shop is really surprised when he sees a dog coming inside the shop.. He shoos him away. But later, the dog is back again. So, he goes over to the dog and notices it has a note in its mouth.
He takes the note and it reads "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please? The dog has money in its mouth, as well."
The butcher looks inside and, lo and behold, there is a ten dollar note there. So he takes the money and puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, placing it in the dog's mouth.. The butcher is so impressed, and since it's about closing time, he decides to shut the shop and follow the dog.
So off he goes. The dog is walking down the street, when it comes to a level crossing; the dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the button. Then it waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to turn. They do, and it walks across the road, with the butcher following him all the way.
The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe as the dog stops a bus by pulling its left leg up and gets in it. The butcher follows the dog into the bus. The dog then shows a ticket which is tied to its belt to the bus conductor. The butcher is nearly fainting at this sight, so are the other passengers in the bus. The dog then sits near the driver's seat looking outside. As soon as the stop is in sight, the dog stands and wags its tail to inform the conductor. Then, without waiting for the bus to stop completely, it jumps out of the bus and runs to a house very close to the stop.
It opens the big Iron Gate and rushes inside towards the door. As it approaches the wooden door, the dog suddenly changes its mind and heads towards the garden. It goes to the window, and beats its head against it several times, walks back, jumps off, and waits at the door. The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts abusing the dog, kicking him and punching him, and swearing at him. The butcher surprised with this, runs up, and tops the guy.
"What in heaven's name are you doing? The dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for the life of me! "To which the guy responds: "You call this clever? This is the second time this week that this stupid dog's forgotten his key."
Moral of the story.....
You may continue to exceed onlookers expectations but
shall always fall short of the boss' expectations.
It's a dog's life after all.....
20 Powerful Statements
1. Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.
2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.
3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.
5. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.
6. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
7. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
8. You can't buy love . . but you pay heavily for it.
9. True friends stab you in the front.
10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.
11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.
14. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
15. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
16. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
17. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.
18. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.
20. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.
Monday, January 7, 2008
New ICC Rules
Its been hardly two days since the test match is over, and this email is doing the rounds. Perhaps it was started even before the match was over. Real fans hardly waste any time to express their views :)
After watching the test match, someone has written some rules have to be incorporated by ICC to give the other teams a perfect clarification
(1) Ricky Ponting – (THE TRULY GENUINE CRICKETER OF THE CRICKET ERA AND WHOSE INTEGRITY SHOULD NOT BE DOUBTED ) should be considered as the FOURTH UMPIRE . As per the new rules, FOURTH UMPIRE decision is final and will over ride any decisions taken by any other umpires. ON-FIELD umpires can seek the assistance of RICKY PONTING even if he is not on the field. This rule is to be made, so that every team should understand the importance of the FOURTH UMPIRE .
(2) While AUSTRALIAN TEAM is bowling, If the ball flies anywhere close to the AUSTRALIAN FIELDER(WITHIN 5 metre distance) , the batsman is to be considered OUT irrelevant of whether the catch was taken cleanly or grassed. Any decision for further clarification should be seeked from the FOURTH UMPIRE . This is made to ensure that the cricket is played with SPORTIVE SPIRIT by all the teams.
(3) While BATTING , AUSTRALIAN players will wait for the ON-FIELD UMPIRE decisions only (even if the catch goes to the FIFTH SLIP as the ball might not have touched the bat). Each AUSTRALIAN batsman has to be out FOUR TIMES (minimum) before he can return to the pavilion. In case of THE CRICKETER WITH INTEGRITY , this can be higher.
(4) UMPIRES should consider a huge bonus if an AUSTRALIAN player scores a century. Any wrong decisions can be ignored as they will be paid huge bonus and will receive the backing of the AUSTRALIAN team and board .
(5) All AUSTRALIAN players are eligible to keep commenting about all players on the field and the OPPONENT TEAM should never comment as they will be spoiling the spirit of the AUSTRALIAN team. Any comments made in any other language are to be considered as RAC I SM only.
(6) MATCH REFREE decisions will be taken purely on the AUSTRALIAN TEAM advice only. Player views from the other teams decisions will not be considered for hearing. MATCH REFREES are to be given huge bonus if this rule is implemented.
(7) NO VISITING TEAM should plan to win in AUSTRALIA . This is to ensure that the sportive spirit of CRICKET is maintained.
(8) THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE : If any bowler gets RICKY PONTING - "THE UNDISPUTED CRICKETER WITH INTEGTIRY IN THE GAME OF CRICKET" more than twice in a series, he will be banned for the REST OF THE SERIES . This is to ensure that the best batsman/Captain will be played to break records and create history in the game of CRICKET .
These rules will clarify better to the all the teams VISITING AUSTRALIA
After watching the test match, someone has written some rules have to be incorporated by ICC to give the other teams a perfect clarification
(1) Ricky Ponting – (THE TRULY GENUINE CRICKETER OF THE CRICKET ERA AND WHOSE INTEGRITY SHOULD NOT BE DOUBTED ) should be considered as the FOURTH UMPIRE . As per the new rules, FOURTH UMPIRE decision is final and will over ride any decisions taken by any other umpires. ON-FIELD umpires can seek the assistance of RICKY PONTING even if he is not on the field. This rule is to be made, so that every team should understand the importance of the FOURTH UMPIRE .
(2) While AUSTRALIAN TEAM is bowling, If the ball flies anywhere close to the AUSTRALIAN FIELDER(WITHIN 5 metre distance) , the batsman is to be considered OUT irrelevant of whether the catch was taken cleanly or grassed. Any decision for further clarification should be seeked from the FOURTH UMPIRE . This is made to ensure that the cricket is played with SPORTIVE SPIRIT by all the teams.
(3) While BATTING , AUSTRALIAN players will wait for the ON-FIELD UMPIRE decisions only (even if the catch goes to the FIFTH SLIP as the ball might not have touched the bat). Each AUSTRALIAN batsman has to be out FOUR TIMES (minimum) before he can return to the pavilion. In case of THE CRICKETER WITH INTEGRITY , this can be higher.
(4) UMPIRES should consider a huge bonus if an AUSTRALIAN player scores a century. Any wrong decisions can be ignored as they will be paid huge bonus and will receive the backing of the AUSTRALIAN team and board .
(5) All AUSTRALIAN players are eligible to keep commenting about all players on the field and the OPPONENT TEAM should never comment as they will be spoiling the spirit of the AUSTRALIAN team. Any comments made in any other language are to be considered as RAC I SM only.
(6) MATCH REFREE decisions will be taken purely on the AUSTRALIAN TEAM advice only. Player views from the other teams decisions will not be considered for hearing. MATCH REFREES are to be given huge bonus if this rule is implemented.
(7) NO VISITING TEAM should plan to win in AUSTRALIA . This is to ensure that the sportive spirit of CRICKET is maintained.
(8) THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE : If any bowler gets RICKY PONTING - "THE UNDISPUTED CRICKETER WITH INTEGTIRY IN THE GAME OF CRICKET" more than twice in a series, he will be banned for the REST OF THE SERIES . This is to ensure that the best batsman/Captain will be played to break records and create history in the game of CRICKET .
These rules will clarify better to the all the teams VISITING AUSTRALIA
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
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